soul searching in the snow

I can’t believe that it has been almost 2 whole months that I have been here on the Ice! 

The time has been flying by so quickly.  I’ve made some outstanding friends and have overall met some amazing people.  I’ve also learned several important things.  I’ve done a fair amount of soul searching while down here.  I’ve got my own personal goals to accomplish while here, and so far, things are going uphill, as planned.

I’ve learned to appreciate  good conversations and kindred spirts. 

I’ve learned that it’s foolish to judge someone based solely on their appearance.  There are people here that I admittedly would probably cross the street to avoid if I were anywhere but Antarctica, however, I find myself having great conversations with them.

I’ve learned that you should always eat your fruits and vegetables when they’re offered to you because who knows when the next time you will see them will be.

I’ve learned that it is possible to get through the day without sending and recieving dozens of text messages.

I’ve learned that drama is not necessary.  This SOUNDS like common sense, however, it’s amazing how many people thrive on drama and drink it in like water.

Sure, a lot of those things seem like they are simple lessons, but looking at where I am now as opposed to where I was in the first half of the year, it’s shocking to see how things have changed in my own life. 

Coming down here has been an incredible, life changing experience. 

Don’t get me wrong, I loved my job at home, but I had also grown comfortable in my position to the point where I was numb to the problems that were actually occurring.  The problems that drew my attention stressed me out to the point where I hated going in to work (but Tori, you said you loved your job.  Yes I loved my job but it still depressed me to have to go in and put up with all of the problems).  I didn’t like being in charge of EVERYTHING, I didn’t like the person it made me become.  I became withdrawn and anti-social.  I quit caring about things like my house, my health, hanging out with people that I adore…  It was a rough time.  But there are some things that I miss…

I miss my family, the Bakers, other close friends and last, but not least, my dog.

I’ve actually been trying to figure out what else I miss and all I could think of were things that I actually miss the idea of.  I’m sure this will change.  I miss green grass and trees.  There.  Now I feel like I haven’t completely abandoned everything.

I adore Antarctica with her crazy, beautiful weather.  I love seeing the snow.  How on earth I have managed to stay in Brunswick GA my entire life is rather odd considering my affinity for snow.  I love walking to work and hearing the soles of my shoes crunch through the snow.  I love looking out of the window in the lounge and seeing the Royal Society Mountain Range across the ice.  I love hearing the wind batter the doors and sides of buildings that I’m generally warm and cozy in.  I love how, on especially cold, blustery days, everyone says “Hello” when they pass eachother outside.  We’re generally all bundled up and it can be difficult to tell who is who, but you always say hi to people when you pass them.  Why?  Because when the weather is really bad, you don’t know if that’s the last person you’re going to see…  Ok, I haven’t been through weather THAT bad yet, but on our -81 degree day, that is sure what it felt like.

Part of me wonders why I love this place so much.  Is it because it is completely different than everything I’ve ever known?  Is it because I know I only have a limited time here, therefore the value of everything is much more precious?  Or is Antarctica, the continent with the harshest conditions on the planet, the place that I have been needing to go to for a very long time to help me discover what in life is worth holding on to and what is worth letting go…

Don’t worry, I’ll get back to more informative posts about the different things around and about McMurdo.  I just felt it was time for a good rambling post about my own personal feelings on this experience thus far.

Take care-

Tori